The Lone Survivor

 All my friends are gone. Smoosh. Creamed. Together, we were a tight team. Alone, I wish I hadn't survived. Sure, you could say I'm being a Negative Nancy. "Make the most of it," you say. "Be thankful you made it out alive". Easy for you to say. And just how am I supposed to go on without my friends? You're not the one sitting here, all alone on this fucking piece of toast, smothered with the creamed remains of my brethren.


How in God's name did I not get shredded by those spinning blades, not to mention how long that fucking thing had to run to assure the ultimate creaminess. Homemade is awesome, yeah, but at what expense? The jar my friends and I were dumped out of held what- several hundred, some whole, others halved at the roaster? What could I have done to deserve this fate? And don't for a minute think I was added after my friends were killed. This is real life, man.  

Comments

  1. BijouxJuly 2, 2024 at 5:52 PM

    Poor Mr. Peanut. He’s a tasty treat, especially on warm toast.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TomJuly 2, 2024 at 6:02 PM

    ...if it matters, I enjoy my peanuts whole!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Debra She Who SeeksJuly 2, 2024 at 6:18 PM

    Don't worry, Mr Peanut, you'll be going down the same red path as your brethren. It won't matter then.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Darla M SandsJuly 4, 2024 at 5:43 PM

    Welcome to life as a working class human...

    ReplyDelete
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